Zoe’s Eulogy & Order of Service
 
Friday 16th April 2021
 
 
MUSIC FOR ARRIVAL:  Graceland by Paul Simon
 
 
A beautiful song that Zoe chose for us all to listen to together - typically kind and perfectly pitched. As Zoe’s dad Stephen said in his speech at her wedding to Dave, ‘she’s never put a foot wrong’.
 
Warm, caring and fun-loving.
A kind and beautiful person inside and out.
A brilliant host and always sunny company.
The mark she leaves in this world is only good.
No harm done, only good.
 
She always left people feeling better than she found them, regardless of who, where or when.  She shone brightly and always will.
 
There is no way that we can say it is anything other than terrible that everyone who knew her has lost the opportunity of making new memories with her, but we all share a deep end everlasting gratitude that we had her in our lives and the impact of her goodness will grow from strength to strength. In particular, we see and nurture that light that burns bright in her and Dave’s beloved, wonderful son George.
 
On behalf of Dave, I would like to thank everyone for coming together today and a special welcome to those joining us online.
 
Zoe wanted this service to be bright and light and we will all do our best to honour that request.
 
A loving mother and wife, a brilliant, beautiful daughter to Joyce and Stephen and a shining star of a sister, Zoe was also a fantastic fun filled much loved auntie and great auntie. A fantastic daughter in law and a nurturing loving figure in James’ childhood with special memories for him of holidays in the caravan in Monreith. As well as a brilliant sister-in-law, friend, work colleague, businesswoman, singer, and dancer.
 
I make no apologies for saying this service is going to be a Zoe fest.
 
The words I am sharing come from talking to Zoe’s family and some of her closest friends. I say some because Zoe was well known, loved and respected by many. Our mother Joyce I know has been very moved and lifted by the number of cards and flowers with lovely messages from a wide range of people who wanted to acknowledge the positive impact that spending time with Zoe has had on their lives. I am personally grateful to all those who have sent such heart felt words and have done my best to weave what people have said together. If people would like to share fuller pieces, then the Muchloved page is a wonderful place to do this for everyone to see.  We will find a way of keeping all the contributions together.
 
As Zoe’s sister and on behalf of her mother Joyce and the rest of the family, I would like to say thank you to Dave for his  loving,  attentive care of Zoe when she was so very poorly.
 
We will be forever thankful that Zoe was able to stay at home with Dave and George for twenty-eight precious days. There were of course challenges. However, from the outset when it was confirmed that Zoe was seriously ill, together they faced every hurdle full on and rose to each challenge as a team.  We have nothing but admiration and respect for how they have conducted themselves both as a family and as individuals.
 
Everyone is so grateful that Zoe was able to do what was important to her, to get home and that we were able to visit her, something that Covid had cruelly denied while she was in hospital. Ahh those precious visits. She was as always charming, funny, loving company and lifted everyone up.
 
A text at this time from our brother Tony:
 
Buoyant as ever still doing everything right. She is the youngest but still teaching us things.
 
Thanks also to East Cheshire Hospice and to you all for the for donations received by them in Zoe’s name. These donations mean others can benefit from having their loved ones cared for and supported locally at the hospice and at home
 
As we cannot sing hymns together, we are going to share a second song - this one was chosen by Dave and Zoe together, from the Simon and Garfunkel album that was “their album “when they first got together. The song relates to many journeys made together… holidays …. the caravan at Monreith. This song has also been chosen because on the whiteboard behind her bed in the hospital in Salford Royal, in answer to what was important to Zoe, was written “getting home”.

And she got there.
 
MUSIC: Homeward Bound by Simon and Garfunkel 
 
Buckstone, Poynton was Zoe, Dave and George’s home and Zoe’s first home was 16 Gee Street, Edgeley, Stockport. Born on the 13th of August 1972 -   eight pounds and two ounces. The fifth child of Joyce and Stephen and sister to me, Tony, Lyn and Angela.
 
From Tony:
“I went to the Isle of Man on holiday when I was seventeen.  When I came home, there she was chuckling on the settee which she carried on doing all her life (by the way, Tony didn't even know mum was pregnant at the time - too busy playing football. 

That chuckling baby on the settee showed a great physical ability to do anything she set her mind to and this stayed with her all her life. Naturally adept at singing and dancing, Zoe also excelled in gymnastics winning lots of awards. All that early exercise, stretching and balancing stayed with her and she was famed for her expert roly-polying amongst the parents of George’s friends at Lower Park School, as we will hear later.
 
Zoe went to Alexandra Park Primary School where she was a popular and bright pupil enjoying - as her brothers and sisters had all done before her - the school dinners in the canteen in the park. Learning, reading, laughing, and playing.
 
Saturdays were often spent at gymnastics or outings with our Mum Joyce and Joyce’s sister - Auntie Lil - in various church halls in the Edgeley area rooting out bargains. In fact, when Zoe was baptised as an adult at St Georges in Poynton she said that as a child that’s what she thought churches were for - Jumble Sales!
 
Childhood turned to young woman hood and she attended Avondale School with the same vigour for learning and her innate aptitude for bringing a twinkle to everything she was involved in.
 
Zoe’s first job was working at the cake and bread shop Renwicks on Castle Street in Edgeley which she loved and often described as “ the best job I ever had “ and certainly everyone else was very sad when it came to an end as that meant no more boxes of unsold vanilla cuts, cream scones, lemon buns or meat and potatoes pies on a Saturday night.
 
Zoe’s friends made at this time remained friends for life. Always positive with a smile on her face is how her friend Sharon describes her:
 
Zoe has always been a joy. She had an astonishing ability to always pull the rabbit out of the bag.
She always found time to do kind and thoughtful things for others and always there when you needed her. The perfect host! As no doubt others will say. Best of all at ramping it up!
Knocking out Marilyn Monroe numbers with voice of an angel. Then off with the shoes.....for some high energy and unusual dance moves which were a joy and surprise every time! It was like the first time you had seen her do it. Often with her dad Steve looking on with a smile
 
Julie Dugdale: We are all incredibly lucky indeed to have known Zoe in our different ways. A true star. When Joyce was ill with shingles we entertained her, dancing around Joyce's bed with a huge foam cowboy hat on and boots singing “Jolene” and “Working 9 to 5”. We had Joyce making us frogs’ legs and we said we'd eaten them and actually we had thrown them over the fence at the back of the garage in the garden. The shock on Joyce's face that we'd eaten the entire legs.
 
(When I got back to Julie asking where my mum had got frogs legs from
She replied Iceland, Cheadle Heath.)
 
Musicals we loved them, “Phantom of the Opera” We had an imaginary gondola.  Zoe was Sarah Brightman and I was The Phantom. We had planned to go in 2020 but that never happened due to the pandemic, but do you know what, why would we need to? We were magical on our own gondola.
If I had to describe Zoe in one word it would be ‘beautiful’ because she was beautiful inside and out.
 
Sharon remembers:
Thursday nights were spent frequenting Grand Central, Stockport until the early hours and we’d both struggle to get up the next day.  Me for work and Zoe for college and university.  Zoe loved music and she was responsible for taking me to my first Shed7 gig in December 1998.  We boogied the night away and somehow left by the back door.  The roadies were packing up and we ended up sitting on some speakers talking to the band.  They were off to Edinburgh for a gig there the next day.  We nearly ended up in the back of the van thinking it was a good idea and we could stay with Lyn, so all would be OK!  So many good times.
 
I remember Zoe passing her driving test.  I passed mine at seventeen, but Zoe was studying hard then so she did hers a few years later.  Her first car was Peggy the Peugeot and all I can say is that Zoe could not park that car!!!  In fact, I don’t think she ever mastered parking for years.
 
In 1991, after doing so well in her A levels in English Language and Literature, History and French, Zoe began an English Literature degree at Bolton University. Due to Zoe's talent and her dedication to do everything to the absolute best of her remarkable ability, Zoe got a first (the highest marks possible) for her dissertation about the work of Angela Carter - a writer Zoe loved.
 
After her degree, Zoe decided to pursue her love of communication and was taken on as a copywriter at Barstows a small advertising and marketing firm where she quickly began to climb the ranks. Barstows was bought out  by The Quay Agency.
 
I would like to thank Zoe’s long-term friend and work colleague David Lomax for detailing Zoe’s work history and how they first met, both in their early twenties:
 
At the time I was working for a small advertising agency and we were bought out by The Quay Advertising and Marketing agency where Zoe worked as an account manager. I was in a completely different department to Zoe.
 
Zoe first came over to ask me a question about a client I worked for. I still remember that she was eating a rhubarb yoghurt from Morrisons. I remember commenting that a new one had just opened near me and she replied that one had just opened near her and that her mum couldn't stay out of the place. We realised we both lived in the same area and before long we were spending all our free time together - meeting each other’s friends and enjoying city breaks and holidays abroad. From the moment we met, we never stopped laughing.
 
David Lomax and Zoe were both client account managers at The Quay with Zoe working in their healthcare Account:  Seton Healthcare. Seton was bought by Scholl and became Seton Scholl Healthcare and then eventually SSL International.  Zoe continued worked her way up through the ranks and was a highly valued asset to the company. She won major clients and many stayed loyal to Zoe:  when she moved agencies, the clients moved with her.
 
The Quay Advertising and Marketing were bought out by McCann Erickson and after about a year of working for McCann, Zoe was headhunted by The Foundry.  She was made Account Director at The Foundry and then Client Services Director. 
 
Following the passing of her dad Steve and wanting to spend more family time with George and Dave - especially wanting to be able to pick George up from school -  Dave suggested Zoe join him at Buckley Commercial as Marketing Manager and fulfil her dream of working in Stockport once again! This role continued following the recent successful merger to form Fairhurst Buckley, in which Zoe was very influential.
 
But although everyone who worked alongside Zoe knows she was a brilliant worker with an ability to make everyone feel comfortable, hardworking, able to deliver on targets and work effectively with clients, smart, bright and sharp as a tack…Renwicks remained ‘the best job she had ever had.’
 
She had bought her own house in Heaviley Grove next to our sister Angela when she met Dave. Within a year they were engaged.  Dave, knowing how much Zoe loved the Brontes, proposed to her at Top Withens, just outside Haworth in Yorkshire, which is thought to be the inspiration for Emily Bronte’s novel Wuthering Heights. Zoe initially said ‘what really’ then she said ‘yes’ and they moved-in together. Two years ago, on their wedding anniversary they returned with George to Haworth and walked up to Top Withens - a trip that Dave remembers fondly, as one they all enjoyed together.
 
Dave and Zoe have been a strong team together for 20 years. They bought Buckstone, their much-loved family home in Poynton, where we enjoyed parties at Christmas time each year, and we all remember the birth of George as a time of great joy for both the Buckley and Connolly families.
 
I know our Mum and Dad loved being closely involved with supporting Zoe and Dave by regularly looking after George up to his going to school. Happy times for grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins alike.
 
George brought a whole new raft of friendships and connections. Zoe loved being a mother in Poynton, enjoying the support and camaraderie of the local antenatal group. Then wholeheartedly supporting the PTA at Lower Park School - the school George and his friends started in September 2014.
 
I am thankful to Charlotte, George’s friend Sam’s mum, for sharing some words on behalf of all the parents and children from the school that Zoe loved so much:
 
I first met Zoe and Dave at a children's party at Poynton British Legion shortly before our boys started at Lower Park together. I was sat chatting to Zoe and our friend Rachael, as Dave kindly supervised the children outside. The children had to come off because they had been asked not to play on the bowling green. At which point, my son, Sam, promptly dropped his pants and weed, in a perfect arch, straight onto the said green! I was a little apprehensive as to what this lovely couple would think of my child's antics but as I looked at them both trying to suppress a giggle, I knew at that point we would be friends for life!
 
We were fortunate to have a really great social group of mums in the boys' year group and we were often all out together, doing things with the children. It was a great time and one of the school mums said to me the other day, “I was always a bit sad if Zo wasn't on a night out".  Zo really had such an ability to light up a room and engage everyone in a conversation, making people feel welcome.
 
Zo took on many roles across the PTA: vice chair, secretary, film night organiser, Mr Coulson's glamourous assistant at Bingo Night and the whole school community will remember her being on the BBQ for ever school fair! She'd get to school at 8am to start putting up gazebos and getting the BBQ sorted. We would both meet for a prosecco at some point during the fair when the boys played in the brass band together -  the highlight of the fair. George also sang in the choir, something that made his Mum so very proud and happy. Zo loved to sing. I also have fond memories of rocking up to the school disco in one of our cars with George and my two squashed in the back amidst boxes of crisps, Haribo and cans of pop.
 
Over recent years our friend Lis had kindly arranged for some camping trips to her dad's house in Anglesey. These weekends away were so much fun:  the children playing cricket on the beach and BBQs at night-time. This time with the men manning the BBQ, whilst we drank gin. Lis is infamous for organising Lis walks - she insists it's just a short walk and you are lucky if you are home before it goes dark. We all loved these walks with the children throwing themselves in streams - and these walks became so important when Covid hit and all last summer we enjoyed so many walks together.
Zo at BBQs at my house getting the CD player out and all the old school CDs and acting as our DJ….  Zo getting stuck in with the children on the bouncy castle and with the piñata … helping them make up games, etc…. Zo doing headstands and roly -polys – she was never afraid to let go and have fun.
 
There have been so many occasions where Zo has always just had the right word or saying to make people laugh, to diffuse tension or to fill a silence. I may have only known her seven years, but my goodness what seven years they have been.  I feel so honoured to have been her friend and will honour her memory.  All who know her will do everything they can to keep her light alive.
 
So many more tributes from friends from Lower Park can be found and added to on the Muchloved page.
 
It is particularly warming to hear about Zoe singing - anyone hearing George recite all the lyrics from Hamilton will know that he has inherited his mum’s ability to remember song lyrics. Indeed, so strong was Zoe’s ability to recall at the drop of a hat an astonishing amount of lyrics that when Dave and Zoe first met, Dave was a little bit concerned that she was some sort of geek - sat in her bedroom on her own learning the words to hundreds of songs. But as Zoe said, she found it natural and no trouble at all to carry loads of lyrics in her head - but only the ones worth remembering!
 
So much love has come out of the union of Zoe and Dave.
 
The next song is chosen by Dave and here he is to tell us why he has chosen it.
 
I appreciate that this song wasn’t written for this sort of occasion, but I chose it to represent three things: First - the true joy and happiness that Zoe had found in life
Second - Zoe’s genuine love for all the people that she met along the way
and third - a real belief that the love we share with Zoe will remain unchanged from this point on. As we know, Zoe could sing, and she could be singing this to us now.                                                 

MUSIC: Top of the World by The Carpenters

George would now like to read 'The Owl and the Pussy Cat', which Ian Douglas read at Zoe and Dave’s wedding and would seem appropriate here to complete the wonderful journey of their life together.
 
READING: The Owl and The Pussy Cat
By Edward Lear
 
I
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
 
II
Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-Tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
 
III
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
So, they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.
 
The flowers today that our Mum chose for Zoe are Stargazers and we will look up at the stars and have Zoe in our hearts making things better like she always does. Brightening everything.
 
Zoe was baptised at St Georges Church in Poynton, where Zoe and Dave were also married and although they have in recent years did not attend the church in Poynton as much as they used to, Dave wants to include the Lord’s Prayer.
 
Lord’s Prayer
Our Father
Who art in Heaven
Hallowed be they name
Thy Kingdom Come
They Will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For yours is the kingdom the power and the glory
For ever and ever
 
Amen
 
 
Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
Pour into the rivers and join in the oceans,
So may the power of every moment of your goodness
Flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,
Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.
 
Amen
 
 
Take a minute to be silent together with our own thoughts.
 
Life Well Lived (Author Unknown)
A life well lived is a precious gift,
of hope and strength and grace,
from someone who has made our world
a brighter, better place.
It is filled with moments, sweet and sad
with smiles and sometimes tears,
with friendships formed and good times shared,
and laughter through the years.
A life well lived is a legacy,
of joy and pride and pleasure,
a living, lasting memory
our grateful heart's will treasure.
 
 
We are coming now to the end of this service we have shared together.
Even in these times of Covid it is important for us to be able to gather together, here and from our own homes.
 
When I was thinking about what to say and share today, I read this description of the purpose of coming together as we have this morning:
 
“A eulogy is an invitation to focus on the memories of your loved one. And to keep their presence alive. Speak their name out loud, tell your friends about them, and allow this person's memory to carry you. Grief may rise and that is okay. Remind yourself that it is a natural part of the process and welcome it. Feel your emotions and reflect on the memories of your loved one. Use it to celebrate them. They will continue to live on in your mind and heart. A eulogy is not a goodbye. It is a reminder of the impact a person had on your life. By remembering, you keep the bond alive”
 
 
Look around at each other in acknowledgement that we will speak of Zoe - we will continue to love her, keep the bond alive and keep close to us Dave and George.
 
Zoe had many amazing gifts but her natural ability to make things happen in a joyful way which valued everyone equally is something we are still benefitting from today. Zoe instinctively knew everyone is special and that is how she reacted to us all and how we felt when with her. She gave all of us, freely, the great gift of her respect and genuine love.
 
Zoe’s spirit of care and love and concern for others has been with us this morning.
We thank her for being so wonderfully kind and thoughtful always wanting things to be the best they can be for others - right up to choosing this last piece of music to lift us up -  like she always has and always will.
 
Never putting a step wrong.

MUSIC: Proud Mary by Tina Turner